Tapping into new Terrains

I have noticed one very generalizing sentence that you said : " Men want to feel that they are needed in order to feel secure". And you thought that you were not the average girl that typically show the male that she "needs" him. But thinking about this a bit, isn't that not totally true?. I mean if you didn't "need" him, why would you bother being in a relationship ?.
I guess the need is there, but probably you tend not to express it. The other point, is probably we tend to issue generalized and dogmatic sentences the most when we have an emotional projection. Im not sure if it was worth introspective to navigate within to find if there was an internal projection behind this broad sentence.
In other words i can hear what you said is this way:
" I cant feel that i am needed in a relationship unless im "fixing" or "doing" something to the guy".
" and in order to secure a stable and satisfying relationship where guys stays along, he needs to have something wrong with him that keeps me "in need".
" and its all true because : All Males feel insecure when they are not needed.
" and because im not the average girl, i cant feed in their "insecurity" and make them feel needed all the time"

So, what is the solution ?
Aha!, .. look for some one who will always needs me, even if i didnt show that i needs them. And the only males that will fit in that description are : the males that are insecure and needs some one to fix something in them!

Now its me back speaking ... There could be a cycle of that what you fear the most ( the insecure males) is what you are unconsciously looking for in fact. This makes me question the motive inside you that makes you attracted about men who are "in need" for you based on their insecurities.
Questions for you:
- Do you feel that there is nothing to be admired in you rather than to be needed?
- Can you feel that you could be needed not because you are fixing something, but just because you are a great person to be with, even you just sat there doing your own stuff?
- Can you feel that you can share your qualities with a partner and "enjoy" the process of exchanging life experiences together, just because its fun?
- can you still be independent and "not the average girl" and still be admired for that?

I believe being wanted and admired is based on who we are ( good and bad) and not based on what we can give to others. Giving and being helpful for other fellow beings is a very rare trait these days and this is so nobel, But, it shouldn't be a compensation for an interior feeling : that im not needed around if im not giving something or doing something to others. It should be instead i enjoy being a giver and share that with others when its possible. Im admired for who i am , and not because of what i can do or achieve. Your beingness in this world is a gift from day one you came here, even when you weren't able to help any one else.
And any one cant see that is their problem and not yours.

The "real" vs " the assumptive"

During a hike to Brunswick Mountain in BC i was trying to genuinely listen to a friend while she was talking and i thought that was hard. Because i wanted to pitch in every single second. But i realised that when ever im talking, im not listening then im not learning. Its just this conversations between two deaf people who continuously throwing their own realities on each others thinking that this is the only fact that can stand on because it make sense to them. On this subject a famous french psychiatric :Jaques Lacan, has wrote about the real and the assumptive symbolic world of the human. When you have talked about Jesse ( im not sure that was his name), it seems that he was a one into a million that is trying to live the real. It made me deeply think for a while how could it be that the masses could be living a sort of an assumptive world and not even trying to tap into the real?. In my opinion the only door that can throw some one into the real ( even if you refused!) is Trauma. Its the moment when your symbolic assumptive world fail to support all these flux of unbearable emotions shooting out through your right brain trying to communicate with you the real stuff. And then cultural symbols that we most learn by talking and socializing from each other fails to include this far deep and complex information and looks at you with empty hands that : i don't understand!This small sentence of "i dont understand" grows bigger and bigger causing pain of dissatisfaction. Which will turn into anger-sadness-depression. It means that our small world of symbols and cultural language is not sufficient to explain what we are going through. its time to tap into the real which lies within rather than to depend on the outside cultural world asking for answers because its very limited and build to limit things up to make it easier on the individual. Some people live on this assumptive world that they have learned through talking to others, so, they are living some one else's experience rather than their very own. Its like trying to use an English dictionary to understand Japanese!. I sensed that pretty much last night when i was trying to read a psychology book. I thought that i was looking at the words like symbols and i failed to understand because my limited vocabulary didnt understand the neuro signals coming from the right side of the brain. Now im going to theorize with little scientific proof that our first entry of stimulus to the brain comes through the sensory or the right brain and not the intellectual or the left brain. Thats why when we love something we tends to score the highest marks in it because our mind is opened and we are in harmony with the real that comes from the right brain. Thats when we are truly listening to our intuitions rather than to make it fit into our limited cultural symbols. The only way i guess to deeply understand the right brain intuition doesn't come from language or culture, it truly comes through meditation and no language. And then the left brain will catch up and catch the moment, just here the process of understanding happens.